Darkside of the Spork...2 [entries|friends|calendar] spazypurplepixi [ userinfo | insanejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | insanejournal calendar ]

Flamenco [14 Jun 2010|02:49pm] This past Sunday concluded the Flamenco Festival 2010. It started Wednesday with workshops, performances, and presentations. I bought "season" tickets for all 7 shows, but ended up going to only 2 (which made them rather pricey performances). I saw Manual Liñan y Compañia, and also the second night of Fiesta Flamenca. Manuela Carrasco is my favorite dancer, and fortunately she performed a significant number during Fiesta Flamenca (because I totally missed the evening of Manuela Carrasco y Compañia on Wednesday). Unlike many other live performances, flamenco makes me feel. It speaks to me in ways that very few things do, and I feel a smorgasbord of emotions while watching it. At first I tend to feel proud that I once participated in this awesome dance form. Then sadness, that I don't anymore. Then comes the waves of hatred, annoyance, and agony. I almost always get sleepy, too. The music is relaxing, yet makes me tense at the same time. Especially when men perform - it tends to be about who has the most endurance, who can come up with the best choreography - the ego-trip drives me crazy. I get annoyed at the familiarity between the dancers, and get lost in their beautiful dresses, shoes, hips, legs. I'm annoyed by people who cannot appreciate this form of dance, and I get intimidated by not knowing Spanish (hence not understanding all of the cante lyrics). I was both sad and mad at the lesbians next to me, one of them trying to clap the palmas in time to the performance, while the other sat smiling with her own hands down the other's skirt. I was frustrated with Jonathan saying that "flamingo" reminded him of his early tap dancing days - I stopped him to point out that FLAMENCO is nothing like tap dancing, nor pink birds. I get happy to see the people with wrapped toes and feet from days of dancing workshops, and am embarrassed that my own feet look so perfect in my new sandals. As I sit watching the last performance, last night (Sunday), I'm saddened by memories of people, and the parties, and the feelings. Now, flamenco seems like a long-lost lover to me - something that I put everything I had into, and didn't get out what I expected. I suppose part of growing up is knowing where you fit in and if that even matters - depending on your passion and love for the specific thing. As much as I loved flamenco, I wasn't cut out for it. Now, with my flurry of various emotions, I can sit back and enjoy the passion from afar, content. post comment

Moved, and Espresso Dreamin' [10 Jun 2010|12:10pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] Finally moved into my house. Just have to put my bed frame together and I can start living there. It seems weird and stupid to have bought a house, but it's mine now so I may as well use it. Thinking of buying an espresso machine. I got to thinking... Roughly 4 espresso drinks a week (this estimate is high for summer, low for winter, so the average is the same): 16.44 Times the weeks in a year: 52 (i think that's right, anyway)... 16.44 x 52 = 854.88 That's the amount I spend on coffee yearly. Too much, you say? Yeah, well, it's a formed habit. I'm not as bad as Eric, or many other of my friends. Not that much, you say? Well, that doesn't take into consideration the afternoons snuggled up with a good book and a steaming cup of strong brew. Oh, and this amount does not include tea, or how much that costs. It also does not include the coffee that I brew on my own time. This is just straight up espresso drinks. (Granted, I like caffè americanos and lungos better than iced coffee, and I make a ton of tea lattes on my own. An espresso machine would grant me the capability to be awesome beyond your wildest dreams.) So, I'm thinking if I buy an espresso machine, I could potentially get a rather nice one (for the amount I'd spend on drinks, yearly), and it would save me money. I don't think it will save me very many calories or time, but that's a different matter entirely. (Lungos and caffè americanos are mainly just espresso and water and have hardly any calories anyway.) And YES I'd have to buy the beans, but how expensive can that really be? I already have a grinder. I could potentially buy in bulk when I find a brand/roast I like. But I'm kind of a snob and like the fresh stuff. Don't hate. So... to enable or not to enable? That is the question. 2 comments|post comment

New Baby!! [09 Jun 2010|09:48am] [ mood | excited ] Stasia Irene was born around noon yesterday. She was 2 weeks early but still 7 lbs. and 20 inches long. She's so beautiful. [She's the daughter of my long-time friend Allie (we grew up together). I'm a pseudo-aunt :)] 1 comment|post comment

Moving [04 Jun 2010|10:20am] [ mood | hungry ] Denise and Mark came over to help me move. Mark had kindly donated some furniture to my "house stuff" collection, and had brought it over in his dark silver Dodge RAM. Denise helped him with loading. After I had helped Mark carry everything inside, we all went back out to the truck and untied the secure ropes. Denise told a funny story: She was helping her sister move (along with her sister’s friend and her friend’s mother) – all women. They had tied all this stuff into the back of a pickup truck, but decided they could put more back there. So while Denise’s sister and her sister’s friend were carrying a mattress, they were telling Denise to let up some slack on the ropes (the ones with the cranks that are difficult to maneuver, if you don’t have instructions or experience). Denise, having no prior crank-operating experience, fumbled with the mechanics for several minutes before giving up. Her sister finally yelled, "Denise! Give us some slack!!" Denise shouted back, "I’m a woman; I don’t know how to give slack!" post comment

My new favorite song: [28 May 2010|01:15pm] "Don't Try to Fool Me" by Miss Li http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl2XEDH5UT4 I'm not a stupid girl Don't call me stupid I'm just a hungry girl And you taste so sweet And you taste so sweet I'm not a weak girl Don't call me weak, no I'm just a fragile girl And you are so strong Yeah you are so strong Don't try to fool me, no Don't try to fool me once again Don't try to fool me, no Don't try to fool me in the rain You see I made it boy Oh you see I made it And I did it boy All on my own Yes all on my own So don't judge me, no No don't judge me And don't blame me boy For being filled with joy And I am filled with joy post comment

I felt the urge to write again [26 May 2010|10:52am] [ mood | content ] So, yesterday I got back from my brother's graduation (Yale). Last week (Thursday) I bought a house. I am now officially a homeowner, employed, and loving it. I'm reading like it's my life source, which is great. I have so many books I want to read, and too many mediocre books that kept me from them (since I have this issue about needing to finish books... the only one I never finished was 1984, which just reeked, in my opinion). While trying to herd cats (my family) in Connecticut, I felt the urge to write again. Probably some of this stems from my newfounded love of the memoir genre, but humor me. Probably much of it comes from living alone, without someone super close to talk to about all the intimate details of my existence. I don't know the future of this journal, or my life, or the weather. What I do know is that it's refreshing to come to a place to write again, to feel like I can freely unload the most secret places of my mind. Well, at least the shadowy corners. 2 comments|post comment

That is all. [01 Feb 2010|04:00pm] Eric and I broke up on Saturday, January 30th. It was 5 days before our 4.5 year anniversary. 1 comment|post comment

Cleaning, Freezing, Flying [22 Sep 2009|10:13am] [ mood | okay ] I went on a cleaning rampage last night. I was feeling overwhelmed because I'm still not unpacked, and I had a full sink of dirty dishes. Despite having a dishwasher, I actually prefer to wash most things by hand. So I cleaned. It actually worked out rather well, considering the strangeness of the day. I went to work early; had a meeting at 630AM. Wanted to catch Dan up so he wouldn't make us or himself look like idiots. He didn't show until around 730, but the meeting was at starbucks, so Linda and I didn't really mind. We were ready by the time he got there. It's hard working with that man, but I was really consciously trying to not let him bother me yesterday. It seemed to work pretty well. Was able to get off early, at like 230, but i didn't actually leave until about 330, which was ok. Talked to Eric some after work, which was good too. I was on an emotional roller coaster yesterday, but it wasn't without reason. He finally realized some things that I had been aware of for some time. It hurt for those things to be said, but they probably needed to be recognized. Had a meeting at 530 for the retreat, and that was good. I don't really take kindly to this one girl named Sarah. She's young, bashful, and has seemingly low self-esteem, which I find utterly infuriating (the esteem thing). Anyway, I was trying really hard not to let her bother me yesterday, but it didn't seem to work all that well. After the meeting came a trip to Target, then dinner and movies, cleaning and reading. It went well. Got to bed at an acceptable time, but couldn't sleep much because it was freezing. Restart the day. Restart button. Restart. Freezing today. Freezing. Well, not technically freezing. But in the high 30 degree range when I woke up. I'm sure it was freezing on the other side of the mountain. I decided that I'm going to try to go to some daily Masses if I can. I like the 515PM time on Tuesdays, and the 1210PM times on Fridays will maybe be doable; we'll see. I'm going to probably start working the 9/80 schedule, which means I work like 9 hours/day but get every other Friday off. I'm working about 9 hours a day anyway, and I get paid for overtime, but I'm coming to a place where I'm making lots of money but I don't have any time to spend it. It's frustrating, like when you're in a place where you're using lots of money but don't have a dime to your name. Either way is frustrating, but in very different ways, I think. Anyway. So I'd like to have some more time. Fridays off would be a start in that, and I could potentially take less vacation time (another thing to worry about :sigh:) for my weekend trips. Instead of like 2-3 days vacation, I can just take 1-2. It'll help. I'm going to Dallas, TX for a MK convention/retreat thing on October 16-18; to New Haven, CT to visit my brother November 5-9; on a weekend retreat with Newman from November 13-15. I still have to block a weekend off for Eric too, but we better do it soon because I'm filling up pretty completely. Thanksgiving is in there too, which will be spent with family, probably, playing football and eating delicious food. Mmm, food. (At least I'll be getting lots of frequent flyer miles.) Restart. post comment

Beautiful, Beautiful Rain! [17 Sep 2009|08:44am] [ mood | determined ] It's been raining consistently since yesterday afternoon. It started around 5 at my apartment, and has been raining pretty much since then. Driving home from Bible study yesterday was scary because there were puddles everywhere. It's about 130pm now, and it's stopped raining. [I had a lot of stuff going on between one sentence to the next.] Work is driving me crazy, but I won't/can't really get into it here. Suffice it to say that I haven't yet killed anyone, but I've ordered the body bags just in case. That's all for now. Thought I'd have more, but my tooth is starting to throb which means I need to eat something (so I can take more meds). Had a deep cavity filled... had to take off some gums and stuff. Ouch. 2 comments|post comment

Long time no post! [01 Sep 2009|09:37am] [ mood | content ] Hey Everyone, I know it seems like I've fallen off the face of this flat earth, but no... I am alive! I graduated from college, got a "real" job (the same job I had but for more money, vacation time, and benefits), and am now living in my own 1-bedroom apartment. It's like a whole new chapter of my life and it's verry exciting (so exciting that i spelled "very" with two r's and it looked right). Things are nice but hectic. I don't have internet yet in my apartment (I'm waiting to see how bad the electric bill will be to see if I can afford internet)... so I've been out of touch a lot lately. I haven't checked facebook in over 2 weeks! I think it's probably a new record. The boy started his PhD program in the Indiana University CS program. I'm very proud of him. He's doing what he wants to be doing, his dream, and that's more than I can say for myself (despite my current satisfaction). He's not used to being in a college town, and he's making some bad choices, but soon I think it will blow over. He just has to get used to it again, and grounded in his convictions. It's weird being on the other side of things, too - like before I was in school and had all this time and wanted to talk to him in the middle of the day, when I had breaks from class. He was working all day and didn't go in until late so he didn't get out until late, so he was eating dinner when I was going to bed a lot of times. Now it's completely reversed, and I am starting to understand some of the frustration that he always felt. I'm sure he feels frustrated sometimes too, like I would feel like he wasn't giving me enough attention, but I didn't stop to think that he couldn't because he was working. I can't even have my cell phone with me at work, so I can't imagine what that's like for him (or even if he feels that way, I don't really know). I like nesting in my new apartment. I still need a lot of things, like chairs and maybe a table to eat on, but I have my desk set up and my computer is on it. Just finished putting together my new cheap computer chair last night, but need a plastic thing so I don't ruin the carpet. My bookshelf is set up and fully loaded. (I realized in the midst of my move that I'd rather have nothing but books - which was 3/4 of my stuff...) I do need to get rid of some of them - you know the ones you buy when you're browsing the racks - they look interesting but they're never quite on your must-read-now list? I want to read all those and pass them forward, if I can. It will help my bookshelf considerably. [Though it did improve my upper body strength, moving those things up the stairs.] Anyway, more later. I think my wrists are over-worked. 1 comment|post comment

The Reader [20 Jul 2009|05:14pm] By Bernhard Schlink And besides, she was much older than the girls I dreamed about. Over thirty? It's hard to guess ages when you're not that old yourself and won't be anytime soon. p. 15 Did my moral upbringing somehow turn against itself? If looking at someone with desire was as bad as satisfying the desire, if having an active fantasy was as bad as the act you were fantasizing -- then why not the satisfaction and the act itself? As the days went on, I discovered that I couldn't stop thinking sinful thoughts. In which case I also wanted the sin itself. p. 19 "What do you think?" My mother turned to my father. He set his knife and fork down on his plate, leaned back, and folded his hands in his lap. He said nothing and looked thoughtful, the way he always did when my mother talked to him about the children or the household. p. 30 "...Philosophy has forgotten about children." He smiled at me. "Forgotten them forever, not just sometimes, the way I forget about you." p. 141 post comment

The Tender Bar [16 Jul 2009|07:08pm] By J.R. Moehringer My grandmother told me that Manhasset was one of those places where an old wives' tale was accepted as fact -- namely, that drinking at home wasn't the mark of an alcoholic. So long as you drank publicly, not secretly, you weren't a drunk. Thus, bars. Lots and lots of bars. p. 7 Uncle Charlie talked about meeting Steve for the first time when they were seniors at Manhasset High School. Steve had just been kicked out of the Cheshire Academy, in Connecticut, a school where all the boys wore blue blazers and smirks. Cheshire's loss was Manhasset's gain, Uncle Charlie said. I wanted to ask if the Cheshire Academy was where Steve learned to smile like that. In my memory Steve looked something like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. p. 87 When flashes of light went off around their heads, the sun glinting off the ocean, I saw a platoon of soldiers walking into a burst of artillery. I knew that morning that I'd follow the men anywhere. Into battle. Into the jaws of hell. But not into the ocean. p. 91 I was starved for information about the world -- I hadn't been anywhere and didn't know anyone who had -- and the Times, like Yale, seemed expressly designed for my special brand of ignorance. Also, I loved how the Times made life appear containable. It satisfied my mania for order, for a world separated into black and white. It slotted all the madness into seventy pages of six skinny columns. p. 144-145 "Well, congratulations!" she said, or tried to. It came out: Congratch-ma-lations! "Snuck into Publicans. Got thrown out of Publicans. Drank with m'reens. Smoked your fersh smigarette. I'm s'proud of you. S'proud." "Are you the devil?" She left the room. p. 150 I knew less about love than about constitutional law, but on the flight to Arizona I decided I was in love. Or else I was having a stroke. I was sweating, shaking, suffering pains in my chest. It didn't help that I could still smell Sidney on my hand, and in my pocket I found a crumpled napkin that bore her lip print. I held my hand to my nose, pressed the napkin to my mouth, and the flight attendant asked if I was ill. p. 212 He was so sweet with his mother that Grandma looked at him with a mix of disbelief and adoration. Tim bent down and gave Aunt Charlene a kiss, then went off to get her a drink, fix her a sandwich, make sure the guests were comfortable. Grandma stared after him, then turned to me, her eye twitching, as if batting out a message in Morse code. She didn't need to say it. Real men take care of their mothers. p. 259 I shook his hand and felt a bolt of testosterone shoot up my arm. p. 278 Don't use an olive for the earth, I hate olives. Whaddya got against olives? Pits -- I don't like food that fights me. Who the fuck ate Mars? Sorry, I see a cherry, I eat a cherry. How big is the fucking earth anyways? It's twenty-five thousand miles around. That sounds almost walkable. You don't even like to walk to the corner for the Daily News. You mean to say everyone in this joint is going sixty-seven thousand miles an hour right now? No wonder I feel so fucking dizzy. p. 334 post comment

Song of Solomon [10 Jul 2009|10:02am] By Toni Morrison Mr. Smith's blue silk wings must have left their mark, because when the little boy discovered, at four, the same thing Mr. Smith had learned earlier - that only birds and airplanes could fly - he lost all interest in himself. To have to live without that single gift saddened him and left his imagination so bereft that he appeared dull...p. 9 "No. Not like no riverboat pilot. Like a Christ-killing Pilate. You can't get much worse than that for a name. And a baby girl at that." "That's where my finger went down at." "Well, your brain ain't got to follow it. You don't want to give this motherless child the name of the man that killed Jesus, do you?" "I asked Jesus to save my wife." "Careful, Macon." "I asked him all night long." "He did give you your baby." "Yes. He did. Baby name Pilate." "Jesus, have mercy." p. 19 I'm on the thin side of evil and I'm trying not to break through. p. 21 You think dark is just one color, but it ain't. There're five or six kinds of black. Some silky, some woolly. Some just empty. Some like fingers. And it don't stay still. It moves and changes from one kind of black to another. Saying something is pitch black is like saying something is green. What kind of green? Green like my bottles? Green like a grasshopper? Green like a cucumber, lettuce, or green like the sky is just before it breaks loose to storm? Well, night black is the same way. May as well be a rainbow. p. 40-41 I live in the North now. So the first question come to mind is North of what? Why, north of the South. So North exists because South does. But does that mean North is different from South? No way! South is just south of North... p. 115 Even if you weren't frightened of a woman who had no navel, you certainly had to take her very seriously. p. 138 And now the one woman who claimed to love him more than life, more than her life, actually loved him more than his life, for she had spent half a year trying to relieve him of it. p. 165 You don't hear about women like that anymore, but there used to be more - the kind of woman who couldn't live without a particular man. And when the man left, they lost their minds, or died or something. Love, I guess. p. 323 post comment

21 days [09 Jul 2009|01:56pm] [ mood | chipper ] I'm really bad at updating, as you've probably noticed. I don't know if this journal really is what I need anymore. I've been thinking a bit about it, but haven't come to any major conclusions (or any at all, for that matter). Still, I like how I can organize my quotations, even though I want something much more permanent. I think part of it is that I don't like to write so much anymore, or maybe I'm just out of the habit. Speaking of habits, I heard at a rather insightful sermon that 21 is the magical number of days it takes to make or break a good or bad habit. Eric and I are trying this out with one particular issue together, and I'm doing a few other things by myself. Bible study is once a week, so I'll be going for 21 weeks instead of 21 days, but I think it'll have the same sort of result. There are a few other things, too, which I really haven't formed into complete thoughts yet, or really even decided to apply the 21 days thing. This exercise has at least made me conscious about what I want to change and am actively thinking about (and actually doing) it. Ah, here are the photos from graduation, like I promised (2 months late). I just got back from my Seattle/Detroit trip on Tuesday evening. Had a blast. A wedding, kayaking, fireworks, possum hunting, and being with the boy. What else could you ask for? In other news, I'm compiling my reading list. I have A LOT of prospective good-looking books that have piled up over the years, and am excited to start going through that. I have two new quote things to add to this, too, so you'll be seeing that soon. If you have any books that you found especially thrilling, let me know what they are (and maybe a brief summary) so I can add them to The List. post comment

[19 May 2009|07:43pm] [ mood | accomplished ] I'm officially done with college, so in theory I'll have more time for writing. Pictures to come soon. <3 Lucy post comment

Eclipse [19 May 2009|07:42pm] By Stephenie Meyer Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that you insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands. p. 31 So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me, and have pretty babies. That's what I'd really wanted, all along. It still doesn't seem like too much to have asked for. p. 162 When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her... You've become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother. p. 176 In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to staying with Edward forever. And then there was the fact that I was being hunted by known and unknown parties. I'd rather not sit around, helpless and delicious, waiting for one of them to catch up with me. p. 269 They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen. p. 293 My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them. p. 294 You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work. p. 422 Snorting was good; a voice couldn't tremble or break during a snort. It sounded impressively offhand. p. 558 post comment

Ghosts and Goblins: Stories for Halloween [23 Apr 2009|05:03pm] Compiled by Wilhelmina Harper It was one of those nights that ghosts are fond of, whit great floating clouds in the sky and a chill wind. pg 23 "The Giant Ghost" by Elizabeth Hough Sechrist Even then he hesitated and did not wish to hide, but she thrust him into the little room and closed the door. Through the wall he heard the old witch enter and throw a pile of wood on the hearth. pg. 39 "The Hungry Old Witch" by Charles J. Finger He did all the washing he thought necessary, which was not a great deal, so his house was not very clean and tidy, for he thought the best place for things was where they could be picked up easily; and when anything got lost he had no one to blame but himself. pg 49 "The Woodman and the Goblins" by J.B. Esenwein and Marietta Stockard They waited and they waited, but still he didn't come, till at last he came rushing in, calling out, "Who's Tommy Tildrum?" in such a wild way that both his wife and his cat stared at him to know what was the matter. pg 57 "The King o' The Cats" by Joseph Jacobs "Your charms cannot hurt," said the mouse, looking pert. Well, she looked in her book and she waved her right arm, and she said the most magical things. Till the mouse, feeling strange, looked about in alarm, and found he was growing some wings. He flapped and he fluttered the longer he muttered. pg 96 "The Witch of Willowby Wood" by Rowena Bennett About its brink sat the creatures of the forest, and above in the coconut trees sat the monkey tribe, who chattered at T'soki and hurled coconuts down upon her, as is the way of the monkey people. pg 105 "The Goblin of the Pitcher" by Alida Sims Malkus It is usual for orphans to be very, very poor. That is the world-wide custom. Ah Tcha, on the contrary, was quite wealthy. He owned seven farms, with seven times seven horses to draw the plow. He owned seven mills, with plenty of breezes to spin them. Furthermore, he owned seven thousand pieces of gold and a fine white cat. pg 141 "Ah Tcha the Sleeper" by Arthur Bowie Chrisman The cat was black in color, black as a crow's wing dipped in pitch upon a night of inky darkness. pg 143 "Ah Tcha the Sleeper" by Arthur Bowie Chrisman The more Tim chuckled, the more he thought how most of his fears were like mufflers caught and stretched much tighter than mufflers ought. pg 175 "The Witch in the Wintry Wood" by Aileen Fisher 1 comment|post comment

So I know I'm really bad at updating... [15 Apr 2009|01:45pm] but i have less than 4 weeks of college left. I'm really busy, and still recovering from my literal near-death experience. I am still here and still reading your entries, just not posting much myself. I hope to remedy that soon. Much love Lucy post comment

Exciting Book Game thing [30 Mar 2009|06:11pm] I may have posted this before... Rules: * Grab the book nearest you. Right now. * Turn to page 65. * Find the fifth sentence. * Post that sentence in the comments, with book title and author. * Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, or the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST. =============== 2 comments|post comment

Quickie [19 Mar 2009|10:59pm] - Spring break has been full of homework, and not much fun. - I have a massive amount of homework to catch up on. 3 weeks out of school is killing me. - I'm back at work, doing half days until further notice. [the only good part of this entire health ordeal was that i get a handicapped permit out of it. no more south lot shuttle for me!!!] - Making cookies tonight, as a last resort for procrastination. - My boy is making a 24 hour trip to Oregon, because he's crazy. - Thinking of converting... no more Catholicism for me! - I really need to get my sleep schedule back on track, staying up til 330 am isn't conducive to happiness. - hemorrhaging! damn blood thinners... - Netflix sent me an extra DVD for unknown reasons and it makes me happy :) Just got my hospital bill in the mail... and missed jury duty last week... And on that note... Good night! 3 comments|post comment

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